I ... That is what my sentence was to start with.. I... It was to begin about how I am feeling ... There is so much more than that.. The word I doesn't really hold it, express it or examine it. Yes, it is about me. However, it affects far more than just me.. It affects first and foremost my immediate family, my extended family, my friends, my acquaintances and then out from that millions..
Millions,,, you may ask.. How can one blog post from a simple wife and mother in Texas affect millions. Well my blog post won't. What it is about, now that is different.
Miscarriage... That affects millions.
There are tons of magazine articles, books, blog posts, internet articles and discussions about this subject. Yet, it is not talked about it. Not by the people that matter. Those near the women and men it happens to. Yes, it affects men too.
I had a late miscarriage in September. Everyone else has moved on. It doesn't signify to them anymore. It is over. It is done. It is past. for them. It is for everyone but me and my husband. I can't barely look at it mentally or emotionally. It hurts in a place that is almost impossible to touch.
What do I do. I focus on my children, on my husband, on my faith, on my house, on my friends. I focus on anything that can keep me from focusing on that. Yet, even if I don't focus on it, it still exists. It still changed me.
It still brought depression, and heartache. It brought change and a different path. I have read article after article on miscarriage, on how it happens, on how to to deal with it. I have read articles on everything regarding it. Reading those articles, helps for a brief moment. It is the briefest of moments. Almost unnoticeable, so quickly does the pain cease and return.
I am here to tell you. There is but two things that help. One I have not done enough and the other I don't have enough as of yet.
One. turning to God in time of pain and hurt. I have not done that as much as I should have and perhaps I would not feel this. But, then sometimes pain is what you must feel for the next step in your life or for you to affect change or someone else. I will be doing this more.
Two, Time must pass. It happened in September. A late miscarriage. It is unrealistic to think I would be okay in such a short time for this.
If you know a woman who has experienced this. Remember this, just because it is over for you... Ask if it is over for her. It may never be. It may simply be, she needs to know someone realizes it is not over for her...