Monday, October 20, 2014

Things don't feel so...

Well they just don't FEEL so much now. For the last few months, I have been one big wandering around ball of emotions. That is all. Everything overwhelmed me. Everything. From the simplest task to the most complicated. It all became to much for me to handle.

I felt like crying most of the time, or screaming. It was hard to decide which. Often it was crying. The deep well of pain has passed by finally. It still hurts if I dwell on it too much. I have finally begun to feel like me again. It has taken some months.

I started some life coaching, and I made some hard choices on things going on in my life. What I could feasibly handle right now. I started to say no. Flex your no muscle I have been told. That is important I have found when you are just full of so much emotion that you feel overwhelmed.

And slowly, I started to feel more in control of my life again. I started to be able to function normally again. Things still feel a bit overwhelming sometimes, but I take a step back and breathe.

I have struggled with many years of having my emotions get the better of me. I have tried multiple things to conquer this. This time. I have made a decision . A life choice if you will to conquer this.

It is a slow process. A minute by minute thing sometime. But with God's help I will become better and more in control of this.

God has lead me through this difficult trail as he has so many others. It is hard for me understand the why and I probably never will. But God does and he will use for his Glory.

For those that have went through this, I hope my writing about it has helped you. I will probably write more about this, but I have gotten through the worst of it. It will come back around as I see pictures and whatnot on facebook, but for this moment I am okay.

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