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Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Each time

Sometimes I wonder if the lack of money in my life is a permanent thing. Oh, I am not a money oriented person, however I would like to have enough money to pay the bills comfortably, and have a little left over, I want to be able to afford things like Christmas and birthdays. 

I know it not about all that. That said, I am still sick of this permanent strain of money issues. I know money is just that, money. But, it makes the world go round. If rocks made the world go round, this post would be about rocks. 

Money causes issues in marriages, with kids, with relatives in general sometimes. We have been very blessed to have family and friends to hold us up during this long winter we are in. I know that. I am thankful to each and ever one of you who has helped us, in any way. That does not mean that I don't want this winter to be over. I want to help others myself. 

I know some of you wonder why don't I get a job if money is such an issue. Well, I would be working for childcare. I would be working to pay someone else to raise my kids. Something that I am not okay with. I would not bring home much above the cost of daycare. So, not worth it. 

I guess I have reached a stage where I just feel worn down, but life. I aam trying to stay positive but with day it becomes harder and harder. Each time I have to say no to my child, each time I must ask someone to help, each bill that gets left unpaid, each time I need something and have to search on freecycle or places like that to get it, my ability to stay positive slips a little.

Please pray for me and my family.

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