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Sunday, September 29, 2013

Stability within insecurity

The stability I have in my life, exists only in the insecurity and change that exists for me. I have craved stability for a long while now. I want to have a life that is the same every day. I know that may sound boring to some but to me that sounds like a dream that I only find at night when I sleep. 

So I have decided to try to find the stability that actually exists in my life. The only place I can find it, is within the insecurity I feel in my life daily and the change that constantly flows around me. I can say that while the boring monotonous life sounds wonderous, it is not what I am meant to have at this time. My stability comes from the instable nature of my life. The ever flowing, ever rushing changes that assaults me frequently. 

My stability is within my childrens eyes when they wake in the morning and search for my eyes and share their good morning I love yous. It comes from knowing that while everything changes for them a lot. I am a stable place for them. They always know Mommy is there, no matter what. 


So, if you can have stability within insecurity and a rushing river of change. Then I do have it. AND.. just maybe.. I would not like the boring daily life that I crave. Maybe, God knows what he is doing.. 

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