So I have decided to try to find the stability that actually exists in my life. The only place I can find it, is within the insecurity I feel in my life daily and the change that constantly flows around me. I can say that while the boring monotonous life sounds wonderous, it is not what I am meant to have at this time. My stability comes from the instable nature of my life. The ever flowing, ever rushing changes that assaults me frequently.
My stability is within my childrens eyes when they wake in the morning and search for my eyes and share their good morning I love yous. It comes from knowing that while everything changes for them a lot. I am a stable place for them. They always know Mommy is there, no matter what.
So, if you can have stability within insecurity and a rushing river of change. Then I do have it. AND.. just maybe.. I would not like the boring daily life that I crave. Maybe, God knows what he is doing..