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Monday, August 5, 2013

Forgiveness

Forgiveness comes in many guises. One would think it is cut and dried. It sounds like it is, doesn't it? But.. well it's not. Often when a situation happens that hurts you, angers you, leaves you gasping at the cruelty of it, it is almost impossible to forgive. I have been in such a situation. I was left gasping, broken down and hurting. I was left so angry I could not fully express it. 

For such a state to occur, it is not a simple one time occurance of an event. This kind of cruelty takes a while to develop, expand and encircle you. It does however leave you wondering what you did to be put in such a place. 

Forgiveness in discussion with this particular situation for me has been a long road. A road I thought I had traveled down. One that I thought I seen in all its glory. I thought I had beaten this. I had reached out and accepted what happened to me. I had embraced it as the past. I had forgiven for what had occured. 

I had not.

Forgiveness though I am learning is not a one time affair in a situation such as I was put in. It is a daily choice, until eventually it becomes a true forgiveness where what occured is the past and no longer causes pain. 

So.. Today I choose forgiveness. Tomorrow I will choose it and every day after that until it becomes true. Until I can say. I have forgiven, I don't have to make a choice, it is not longer part of my daily process. 


I will pray each day for God to guide me in my path of forgiveness, of the choice of not letting the history of hurt control my actions and reactions.  

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