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Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Accept it or Fight it..

I have not really announced this .. but Mr. O is returning to medical school so we will call him Dr. O again. He has to take the COMLEX CK and COMLEX PE and one rotation. He will be leaving our family for 9 weeks in 6 days. He will be staying with a friend of the family states away. We have determined this is the best way to insure success. It is not something I want for certain. I don't like being away from my husband. 

His father and mother have moved in with us to help not only financially but so that I don't have the onus of three kids and no help. I am grateful. It will be easier handling life with three smalls with another couple of adults around. 

I have been struggling with depression lately. I don't think it is postpartum, I think it is simply too much change in too short a time frame. Any person who has gone through as much change as I have in such a short period would struggle I think. 

However, as I have stated before if there is any kind of constant in my life. It is change. I am certain there are others like me who change has to become a friend or it will eat you alive. That getting a short time of stabilty has to go far. That change is a must, it is a constant and it must be your friend. You must learn to appreciate it and accept it quickly. 

I am still slower at accepting and embracing that I would like to be but I feel I am probably better at it than some. It is still hard.

I think I could accept a lot. I think the hardest thing for me right now.. Is the idea of such a long separation from the man I love. 

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