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Saturday, June 15, 2013

So.. What is the bottom?

Where do you go when you feel like you have hit bottom? Do you go up? Is it a question of where you go? Or... Is it a question of what you do? Is there an up from the bottom? Is there such a thing as the bottom? 

Sometimes I wonder these things especially in light of our circumstances. I can't say I have ever been in this particular situation. I can't say I recommend it either. It is not a good situation to be certain. I am learning a few things though that I might not have learned otherwise. 

I have come to the conclusion that when you think you have it bad, you don't. There is always someone out there who has it worse, much worse than you do. I am by nature a positive person I like to think. I usually try to see the positive in any given situation, even those that seem hopeless and pointless. 

This situation is made harder by other parties emotions I must admit. I am struggling myself often in dealing with my own set of emotions and struggling to remain strong and positive in this particular case that is our life. However, dealing with another's negative emotions makes it so much harder to keep your own positive outlook. Sometimes it makes it nearly impossible. 

That is not to say that what other parties are feeling are bad or even wrong. Just difficult to keep my own head above water with my emotions when dealing with those other emotions that are not even mine. I am praying that God intervenes and changes these circumstances for the better soon, but the reality is .. this might what God for us now. I hate to say that but sometimes bad situations are exactly where God wants you to be to learn some lesson for you or some other person. 

I lived with a bad man for years, it was awful. It was bad. It was anything but good. I was trapped and hopeless often during those years. I knew not how to get out. However, a time came when walking away was the only option in my head and it is exactly what I did. God provided a way times a trillion. He protected me, he provided for me and he was my strength during that time just as he is now. 

My point is.. without those years of hardship, heartache, hopelessness, fearfulness, anger, disappointment and dread would I be who I am today. The answer you all know .. is of course not. All experiences in your life make you who you are in the long run. 

So.. This experience will color and change who I am. It is my choice how it does that. I choose to let it make me more.. to make me stronger.. more hopeful.. more positive. 

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