Thursday, May 9, 2013

Better Today...

I am doing better today emotionally, that is not to say tomorrow will be okay. But, today I am okay. I am trying to consciously stay relaxed. Consciously, let things be whatever they are. Let Go and Let God do whatever it is he is doing. 

I still don't understand what is going on or why.. Frankly, I may never know those things. However, today I am choosing to focus on what I do know. 

I know that sometime soon I will be holding a precious new baby. 
I know that I have amazing little girls that hold my heart in their little hands. 
I know that I love my husband very much and feel that our relationship was God given.
I know that even a bad decision can turn out right if you give it to God.
I know that I can pray about anything, even the most difficult of things.
I know that reading my bible can make me feel better no matter the circumstances.
I know that good friends are hard to come by.
I know that I am still proud to be me.
I know that I am happy for sister, that she is happy regardless of anything else. 
I know that I love all of my family, every last one of them from the bottom of my heart and only want them to be happy. 
I know that even though it feels like God is not here, he is. 
I know that I am happier here in Ok than I was in Northern California
I know that my babies are loving all the time they are getting with Nenna, and maybe that is the reason for everything that has happened. Nenna has never gotten to spend a lot of time with them. All three of them are thriving in their time spent with each other. 
I know that I love my mama and she loves me. 
I know that somehow someway this little girl will come into a mended family. I pray that God will intervene and help us make that happen. 

There are lots of things of course that I don't know. However, I know that I can keep being conscious of my mood and my stress level and keep this little miss in there until it is time for her to come out. 

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