Life has taken many strange twists for us, this by far being the most confusing I think. As I mentioned before Dr. O has traveled to the new state to get a job. He expected to find one easily, but that has not been the case. He has been gone for 3 weeks and has not gotten a job yet. Granted he has only been looking for two, but still very frustrating.
After he left, we got the results of the step 2. He did not pass. He will not be Dr. O. Our days in medicine have come to a close. He is likely to attend nursing school at some point, just to make more money to assist with the loans. So I will refer to him, from now on as Mr. O. He seems to be okay with this choice. I have some concerns regarding it, but ultimately it is his decision.
He feels it has been too expensive for our family. He does not just mean financially, though there is that factor. He is constantly torn between medicine and his family. They have never been easy choices for him. Clearly, he made too many choices for family, but he does not regret those choices.
I am en-route to the new state. I am traveling with our two little girls. They so far have been really good for this trip, it has not been easy for me though. The constant need to pee has me stopping every two hours, and I wanted to make two hours more than I did yesterday. However, I was worn out and had to stop to rest.
I am awake in the middle of the night due to intense heartburn. I don't have any tums or anything to take to make it go away. It is so not pleasant. I am tired, but the burning is keeping me up. My hands and feet are on fire as well, I am not sure why. I usually struggle with this the whole pregnancy so I guess I can call myself lucky it has only recently started.
Please pray for our family. There are so many things up in the air right now. We really prayed before he left for the new state and felt we had made the right decision but the fact he has not found a job yet is scary. Money is getting pretty tight. We need to be able to hire our midwife, and pay bills and ultimately find a place of our own. I would like to do all that very soon..
God has a plan that is bigger than anything we can come up with. I just need to remember that. Believe and trust in God. Lean on him to get us through as he has countless times before.