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Saturday, March 16, 2013

Gall Bladder Fun

My gall bladder has definitely taken a turn for the worse. I knew it had, I just did not want to admit it. So sad... I was eating low fat, and doing a pretty good job of it. I had those icky burps on the run.

and then...

I cooked meatloaf...

and then.. I forgot..

and ate it.. 1.5 helpings..midway through that second helping I remembered. OH no.. and boy did I suffer for that forgetful moment. I was sick for 3 days.. I ended up going to the doctor..

and bless his heart.. He gave me meds that got me well pretty quickly.. He said.. take this.. take this if needed.. and one more thing.. (I am listening intently)

'don't forget again'.. LOL..

Yea, I won't..

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Pregnancy.. it ain't for sissies...

I am one day shy of 27 weeks pregnant, which is the third trimester. This pregnancy has been mostly uneventful and easy, well easier than with my older girls. Pregnancy at my age is not easy, period. Though, I must admit not having morning sickness for weeks on end certainly has merit. I was so sick with the girls for about 18 weeks each, this one - only mild nausea here and there.

I have been more tired than I ever thought possible to be. The first trimester was tough, really tough, all I wanted to do was sleep and with two smalls running around, that is not so much possible. The second trimester, I was still tired, less than before but more than I was with my other pregnancies. I guess being 39 has a factor in your exhaustion in pregnancy. It certainly feels like it.

Now, we are entering the third trimester, and boy am I feeling it. Everywhere. I am again very tired, but it is exacerbated by the nightly issues. The right position to support my ever-growing tummy, the restless leg that attacks just as you settle down to go to sleep, the insomnia in general, the round ligament pain, the braxton-hicks that strike when you least expect it. The many joys of the third trimester.

and lets add, a badly functioning gall bladder to that wonderful mix. It is still working, which I am thankful for, oh my I am thankful for that. However, it is not functioning as it should. I am having to eat lower fat, not fat free and hopefully I don't have to go that route this time. However, I am having to watch what I eat.

and... tonight I forgot. Yep, silly but I did. I cooked a meatloaf, it smelled so good. I did not even think about the fact that it was fully of hamburger and fat goes with that. I ate one helping and then went back for more, this is after I ate some cheese. One the second helping I realized, uh oh.. Meatloaf... yep.. that equals fat. I am gonna pay for this later..

and I am.. this is why I am awake.. Just as I went to go to bed.. Two things hit at once.. First round ligament pain that I could not settle. I kept trying to find the right position to make it happy, and I could not find it. 20 minutes later, finally. It settles.

I settle in to go to sleep, and then the gall bladder and gas act up. Sick.. Uncomfortable sick. Not so sick as I can't function but that discomfort and mild misery feeling has struck. Ugh.

As I said in the beginning .. Pregnancy ain't for sissies.. Well, pregnancy at 39 .. it ain't for sissies.

Yes, I am aware that this is a vent post, I am glad I am pregnant but it is tough as anyone cast attest to...

13 weeks to hold little miss.. I can't wait to meet her. If I had to do it all over again and go through this .. I would. This is not fun, but when I meet my little girl, and my other girls meet her.. It will be worth it.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

God Lessons - continued

Peace in place of chaos. Can you find it? Is it even possible? These are questions that many people ask themselves, and questions many more people never even think of because they think it is not even possible. So I ask you? Can you find peace where chaos reigns? My answer to you is yes.

I did not say it would be easy or even a little bit fun. It is actually quite hard for us humans to replace chaos and turmoil with peace and joy. We are naturally sinners and to that end forget to put God in place of all things in our life. If we would only do that, then yes that is where you can place peace where chaos once reigned.

This is a continuation blog of the post God Lessons. It is something that is running through my mind often since I went to the class. I know I apply this lesson in certain parts of my life. I prayed for God to give me peace sometime ago regarding finances. I have joy in the knowledge that no matter how little money there seems to be that God will provide in ways I cannot fathom.

This is something that I need to apply in all areas. Stress would be a thing of the past if I could do that. It would make me a better wife, a better mother, friend, sister, aunt, and of course friend. If I can replace the chaos with peace and experience joy in suffering. Joy in general no matter what occurs in my life, well imagine the benefits, imagine the peace that would surround you.

Imagine how close to God you would feel. Imagine what that would be to others. So I challenge myself and all that read this to try to find that joy and to let go of the chaos and the stress that reigns free in our lives right now.

I will be praying for us to find the peace that can only come from our creator. That he will replace my stress, my chaos, my hopelessness with his all consuming peace.. Amen

Monday, March 11, 2013

God Lessons

Lessons that everyone should learn. I learned one of them this past Sunday. It was a God lesson. Chosen for my husband and I. It was amazing and life-changing. It was a blessing. It carried over to our lives in general. It is a lesson I hope we don't forget. It is a lesson we should not forget.

We went to our old church this past Sunday. It is wonderful church full of wonderful people. It is a church that is God driven. It is a place of family. A place of home. It is the one church of all the churches that my husband and I have attended where we felt instantly like family. They are so welcoming both the very first time you walk in and the 8000th time you walk in, It is an amazing place.

It is in this place of warmth and fellowship that God chose for our lesson to be learned. It is not a lesson that might be fully learning in any other environment. It was through a focus group called Joy in Suffering. A wonderful woman by the name of Karen Jones is the teacher of this class, and what a class it is. Everyone should take it and learn what she is teaching.

A lesson in finding true joy vs happiness. True joy is God given, a peace that can only come from God no matter the circumstances in your life. Facing every twist and turn in your life with the joy that can only come from our creator. Knowing that he is always there for us no matter what the circumstances.

Learning that you can be happy in life but not feel true joy. Happiness is usually caused by an external source it does not come from within, whereas joy does. You can face whatever circumstances that life throws at you and still remain positive and peaceful. You can only do this through God though.

Thank you Ms. Karen for sharing this wonderful and amazing lesson with us. It has changed us forever.

Match Day.. Important or Not..

Today was a big day for some. Especially those in the medical training merging into residency. It was match day. It is a very exciting and nerve-racking day for many. For us, it seemed just another day. So far we have not got anything. I know several who matched and I am super excited for you guys.

It was disappointing to not know today. But Gods hand is in this. He has a great plan than I could every come up with. Whatever happens, will happen and my job will be to let it be and accept whatever comes to pass. I am in a good place to do that.

I thought that if at the end of today we did not have something I would be freaking out. I am not though. It just felt like another day to me. Tomorrow will feel the same.

I am so proud of my man no matter what occurs. He is a good man, a good husband and a great father. I could ask for no more in my life. God knows what he is doing.

I have found joy in my circumstances and happiness with my life.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Roommates... Can be problematic

Peace.. How do you find it when you have a bad roommate? How to you conquer the constant annoyance of said roommate? How do you not let every little thing get to you once they have got to you?

I don't know the answers to these things, I wish I did. My roommate happens to be someone I love. I can't say like so much as love because I have loved this person for who they were to me in the family for so long. Living with said person, unfun, period.

I have somehow become their focus. I don't know how to handle that without causing a serious rift and to be honest I am not currently handling it well. I should be talking instead of hiding out which is what I am doing. I know myself though, I let it go too far instead of trying to find some control of the situation. If I had talked to this person instead of getting some peace, it would have went badly.

Frankly, I don't even know if talking will work. I don't see a solution in site other than to try to get through the months that I need to. I am not moving because they are causing difficulty. I will turn a good situation for them into a very basic roommate situation if I have to, if that is what is needed to get through. Moving is not the solution for my family. It is the opposite of the solution so the solution is for this person to get it under control and start acting right.

I am still mad, that I have been put in this situation by someone who claims to love me. I guess that is what is the biggest problem for me. I expected more from this person. I expected this person to treat me with respect and to live with my family in a decent manner without uncomfortableness. I guess I expected too much, which I guess is why I am mad. I expected more from someone who is supposed to love me and mine.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Mothering

I am 25 weeks pregnant. We are two weeks from the third trimester. 15 weeks to go before we meet this little person. I am excited and nervous at the very same time. I am nervous about labor, I know I know, I have done this twice but that does not mean it will happen the same way. With the epidural as I like. I don't know that I have it in me to go all pain-free natural. I would love to say I do, but I am not so certain of that.

I am also nervous of being a mother to three. I will have a newborn for residency and I a nearly 5 year old and nearly 3 year old. Can I do this? It will definitely be interesting. I will just have to pray to have what it takes to be the right mom for all three girls. I love my children so much and feel so blessed that God blessed me with them. I always want to be what is best for them and know I fail often. I just hope they grow up knowing that I loved them and tried to be the best I could for them.

I am excited too. I wonder what she will look like. We have a mini me and and mini Dr. O so will this little one be the mix? What will her personality be like. It will be interesting to watch her grow and learn and to watch my older girls adapt to another sibling.

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