Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Introspection on being blessed.

Life has a way of changing constantly. Things occur that you least expect and often don't want or even understand. It is interesting to me how all this occurs and why. I know that God has a plan for everyone's life that we don't understand or even see coming for the most part. I know that when I live according to his will things seem to go smoother. The changes are ever coming thou whether you want them or like them.

I must admit that some are welcome while others you could certainly do without. Change has certainly occurred for us this year and more to come in 2013. I fear the change to come while at the same time I welcome it. I know not what it will bring and the wait for it seems to interminable. June of 2013 is long awaited and very scary.

June will bring a graduation and a doctor into the O family as well as a new baby The graduation we have waited a long time to happen. The baby a new development but a happy occurrence. June will also bring a move to somewhere we don't yet know. July the beginning of a new job for Dr. O and of course that job will be a residency.

Life is definitely interesting being married to Dr.O. It has always been so. Even before children it was interesting but yes children made it more so. I love that man more than words in the English language can accurately describe. I am glad I have made this choice and this journey with him. I would make the same choices again if given the change.

God has wholly blessed me with my life and though it has not been an easy journey nor will it turn easy in the next five seconds or even next five years I feel blessed.

May God bless you as he has blessed me.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Pregnancy, A Robbery, a test, and a move

Wow it has been a while since I wrote and a LOT has occurred in our life. As you all know we found out we were expecting another little one. I am almost 15 weeks.. Wow huh. Time flies when you are pregnant, LOL.

Dr. O went to another state for an away rotation and we have not seen him in 2 months. Too LONG!! We are all ready to see him. The girls especially miss their Daddy but their Mama misses her husband as much. At this point, I am ready for residency because at least then we will see him every few days!!! I might change my tune once we are in residency so someone remind of this post if I complain!!! LOL

At the beginning of November I left my house to go visit my sister and intended to say gone until after Thanksgiving since Dr. O was gone it was easier being apart if I was not home. However, I had left some stuff unfinished on accident so I had to ask one of my friends to go to my apartment to fix it for me. I mailed her my key. It took a week for her to get it. She finally got the key and went to the apartment to find that it had been robbed and trashed. They took everything except the furniture. The worse part, it was not broken into, it was unlocked.

The idea of staying in the apartment was too scary for me with Dr. O never home. I just could not do that. I talked to the complex and at first they were understanding but then they changed their mind. I ended up packing up and moving out quickly and they sent us a bill for 6000 plus dollars for the entire lease amount.

It has been a crazy month. We did luckily have renter's insurance but figuring out everything that was taken has been insane!!!! I had to work on it for quite a while, got it turned and and they have sent a check. I have had to change addresses, move everything from one part of cali to the other part of cali. So much work, so many phone calls.. That is not to mention our identities being stolen, that is our birth certs and social security cards stolen meant that I had to call so many places to protect us.

Dr. O took the COMLEX CK of step two. We are awaiting the results but he feels good about it. I am hopeful that he passed. I believe in him as always. That test is so unfriendly, whoever thought that up.. uuugghhh..

As you can see our life has been very tumultuous in the last 2 to 3 months. Crazy. I am ready for some simple normal life moments.

And in light of the tragedy that happened in CT, I have hugged my children extra tight and have been extra thankful for them. I am praying for all those families who can't and my heart aches for them. Please keep them in your prayers a long time. They will need it. Losing a child especially a little one in a senseless act has got to be more than their hearts can bear.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

So much...

   My goodness, where do I start. The last couple of weeks have been pretty interesting for us. I don't even know where to start. It feels like we are on some sort of roller coaster but we don't know how long the ride is, or even if we will stay in the same carriage (whatever they are called) that we started in.
   Dr. O has so much going on in relation to school. We are nearing the end of 4th year. He has the COMLEX in about 2 weeks. He must pass that. Prayers are welcome. He will be away from family for 6 weeks. That will be very hard on all of us. I know in my heart it is for the best, but that does not make it any easier.

We also have a lot going on not in relation to school, which makes school all the more over-whelming for Dr. O, I am sure. We celebrated L's birthday a mite bit early because Daddy was leaving, so she turned 4 about 3 weeks early. It was a great day. We loved seeing her so excited about it. She said she FINALLY turned 4!!!

Little V also has gotten sick. Really sick. Poor baby. Very tough on her. Momma feels so bad for her. I am trying to do everything I can to make her feel better and get well as soon as possible. Though not much you can do when the littles are sick, except try your best to make them feel better. Hard to see them sick though.

Also we found out a couple of weeks ago that we are gonna have another little one. That explained a lot about how I was feeling. We don't even know how far along I am and won't know until Nov 1st when I go to the doctor again.

I know God has a plan for our life, it is sometimes hard waiting to see what it is. ...

Again, prayers welcome

Sunday, September 23, 2012

I believe...

The COMLEX has been scheduled, in November. I think I am as nervous as Dr. O is. So much is riding on this test. So very much.  I know God has a plan for our future that is much greater than our plan but it is still quite nerve-raking waiting it out.

 I believe in our future, I believe in Dr. O. God has placed us exactly where he wants us to be. I have so much to be thankful for. I can't even express to you how much I love my kids. They are my heart. They drive me crazy sometimes but they are my heart. I love them much more than I could ever express in mere words. Loving them makes me understand God loves for us so much more.

I also love Dr. O in a way that I did not think possible to love a man. He is such a blessing to me and my family. He is man chosen for me by God. We make a great team. I won't say we don't have our ups and downs but we are perfect match. Riding the roller coaster that is our life definitely brings out the best and the worse in us, and yet through it all our love remains steady and sure.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

The test is over.... this one at least

Dr. O has taken the USMLE step 2. The long hours of studying and preparing for the test are over. Now the wait begins. We will be praying that he not only passed it but with flying colors. He sounds better than he has in weeks and for that I am glad. I am proud of him regardless of the outcome. He did his best and to me that is what matters.

I do hope he passes I will admit just because it would make things easier for the future as well as help restore Dr. O's confidence level that has always been a part of him. Medical school is definitely good for taking a super smart person and making them equal to the rest of the world. I for one could not do it, not all the studying, and the hard work, the intense dedication one must have to succeed in this field, but it is not me that has to do all this. I do pray for him often though.

I am just trying to remember each and every day that God's plan even if it is not in sync with our plan for the future will always be bigger and grander than anything we could plan for.

Of it all though, I believe in my man. No matter what happens I will be that soft place to land. I will have a peaceful home for him to come to. I will be a strong supporter of his no matter if he needs it or not.

and now we wait. We wait up to 6 weeks to find out the results of the USMLE. Please those that read  this blog if you pray, please take a moment every time you think of us to pray. He still has to take the COMLEX but we don't have a scheduled date yet due to away rotations and an uncertain schedule. Once he takes the COMLEX we will wait another 6 weeks for the results of that test.

Jeremiah 29:11  - For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.- (NIV) []

Friday, August 3, 2012


So much has been going on here. I have not really posted a lot. Dr. O is studying very hard for Step 2 USMLE. He is on an away rotation in Vegas as well. There is a lot going on for the poor guy and a lot riding on doing well on this test.

We are sick. The girls are finally on the mend I think. However I cannot say the same for me. I have a lovely sore throat, a screwed up voice, a runny nose, sneezing, and general not felling well stuff. I can only say ugh. I am glad my babies are on the mend though. I do wish I was too.

In other news , we are up north visiting my family. It is nice. I really do enjoy my family. They are great people. Nothing like being surrounded by your family. I miss my honey to be sure but it nice to be here.

Money is tight again. Umm I guess the question is really when is it NOT tight. God always provides and he will this time same as all the other times.

For those that read my blog and pray, please pray for a great passing number on Dr. O's test and for me to get well.

Off to sleep now.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Keeping busy

I have been keeping myself pretty busy lately. We have been pre-schooling, following our schedule, keeping up with the house and working.
The girls are getting so big, so fast. I can hardly believe how big they are. Where has the time gone. My babies are growing up so fast.
I have been doing a lot of work on Crickett's Cottage lately. I am learning new techniques and growing in my skills and it is so much fun!

Monday, July 2, 2012

More Tooth Pain.. and some excitement

   So things have been rather interesting here in this household. We finally reached the point that we have money. Finally. That was a long haul. Wow was it a long haul.
   I, however have another tooth infection, a really bad one. I went to the dentist, got antibiotics-amoxicillian for the last infection and had a deep cleaning, which by the way is expensive if you did not know that and Medi-cal does not cover it either. I had a wisdom on the top that had a hole in the center that needed removed, however that required oral surgery and the oral surgeon is only in the office once a month. So the cleaning was done and the dentist broke off the rest of the tooth while doing the cleaning.
   2.5 week went by and the appt was nearing and I developed a infection. Of course the day before the appointment is when I realize that something is wrong. I thought it was just that my tooth was impacted and needed removing. Nope. I had a raging infection that does not allow me to open my mouth. It turns out if you can't open your mouth they can't do the surgery. The OS prescribes more amox for the infection, and says make an appt for my next opening. (btw that is a month from now)
   I go fill the prescription fully expecting to improve within 24 hours. Nope. We are at day 3 and I am worse. I have been living off of Jamba, Ensure, Boost and smushed up cheese. I will be going to the doctor today to hopefully get something stronger that will kick this infection in the butt. It is painful and I am ready to eat FOOD.
   In other news, I am excited that my new endeavor seems to be going well. I updated the website and the FB page yesterday. I am really enjoying making the jewelry. It seems I am creative in that. I believe though that God is involved in all of this. I have prayed about all this every step of the way. He has provided the way to obtain the necessary supplies and the inspiration to create each item. Please stop by and check it out if you are interested. and the FB page is
   The other exciting thing is that I got to spend a whole day home alone. I have not done had that much time alone since my kids were born. It was a wonderful day of self-care. I did spend a good portion of it sleeping due to pain pills and this infection but it was nice all the same. I admit at one point I realized the kids were too quiet and went to check on them and realized I was home alone. The kids had a great time with their Lolo, Lola and Dad at the grandparents house.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Tooth Pain.. and a light at the end of the tunnel...

   Lately I have been struggling with my teeth. On and off pain, clenching them at night and sometimes during the day. It has been tough. I just got insurance so I did not go because well no insurance and no money. So I finally got insurance but was going to wait until after a visit to NorCal to visit my sister, plans went awry there.
   I came to my sisters, but my tooth pain just got worse and worse, until I HAD to to the dentist here. I am finally doing better now. It is still hurting some but nothing like it was and it is on the mend. I will have to go to the dentist again when I get home. I hope I find a good one like the one here. And may I just say... Thank God that he provided insurance for us.
   I am enjoying my visit with my sister. I seem tired all the time though. I am not sure what is up with that. I would rather not be so tired, but I am taking advantage of being at my sisters and resting as much as I need to. The girls are loving being here too. They love it here. They would love it more if there were no cats, but hopefully someday they won't be afraid of cats.
   The best news to offer though is a light at the end of the lack of money tunnel. Soon we will be able to pay some bills. Living with no money is no fun at all. It has certainly taught me to be super careful with the money when we have it. It has also taught me to trust God to provide and he always will.
 I am glad though to be able to pay some bills and catch up. It feels good!! Aaaahhhhh

Have a great night everyone!!!

Friday, May 25, 2012

Such Moments as these...

Life is so short, and a childhood is so brief. Your kids grow up so very fast, right in front of your eyes. Someone once told me " The days are long, but the years are short." That is very true. I want to enjoy each moment of my children's childhood. I want to embrace how adorable they are right now, tomorrow, a year from now, 5 years, 10 etc.

I want to be the best Mom possible for my children. I want them to grow knowing that though I was tough, I loved them more than they can even begin to fathom at least until they have their own kids. I want so much for them, but at the base of it I want them to become what they want to become. I want them to grow and learn and embrace what life brings to them.

The reality is though as they grow I know that sometimes my wants will override theirs, just for the simple fact they are young or as they get older a protective choice on my part will need to be made. However, I do hope by the time they are adults they know I did my best to be the best for them.

Such moments as these are so short, and so very precious.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012


   I am so excited! I reached my goal weight of 135 pounds. I have officially lost 27 pounds. I am super proud of myself. The weigh-loss has been good for me. I decided to get healthy and I did. I feel better in general, and about myself. I like how I look again. It has given me incentive to wear make-up, cute clothes and shoes, to fix my hair, etc.
   I am working on my posture as well. I have always slumped and I don't like it. I don't like the look it portrays and I don't want to portray that for my kids either. It certainly make you look and feel more confident in yourself. I am confident in myself so I would like to show that rather than the slump look.
   I feel better about myself, more so than I have felt in years. It is a wonderful feeling. I recommend it.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012


Since January I have been trying to lose weight and change my eating habits. I have been small my entire life. Granted, both times  I got pregnant I was heavy for me.  I know the numbers don't sound bad to some but to me they did. I have weighed 125-135 for most of my life and I thought 145 was heavy. I weighed the exact same weight both times I got pregnant, 145. I lost back down to the 145 within a year of my first child and immediately got pregnant with my second child. I had a problem pregnancy that resulted in a fat free diet for 7 weeks. I hated it. When I finally had V, I weighed 135. I was 10 pounds lighter than when I GOT pregnant. I began eating everything it seemed. I found that going without good tasting food was a license to eat a lot of bad food after she was born and I did.

Fourteen months later I went to the doctor and weighted 162. I had gained 27 pounds. I was wearing a size 14 clothes. My tops went from small to large and my pants went from size 6 to size 14. Any woman reading this blog will understand how I felt at that moment. I felt huge. I felt ugly. I certainly did not feel pretty or sexy. I know you can at any weight but I did not. It was traumatizing to me.

Another factor for me was that my mom is diabetic and I was diabetic with both kids. I have more than a 50% higher chance of getting type II than most. I do not want to be diabetic when I get older and I am already 38. If I kept going the way I was going, eating whatever I wanted, which included tons of sugar, fat, and just plain junk. I was going to continue to gain weight which would make me even more susceptible to diabetes. I was heading straight in the direction of a Type II diabetic diagnoses.

That moment changed my life.

I decided right then, right there to change how I ate permanently. I was not going to go on diet.  I was going to change how I ate for good. And I did. I cut my junk food first. The chips, the processed food, the pizza rolls, the candy bars, the cookies. Then I started cutting back my sugar. After I adjusted to all that, I cut my red meat down to a very minimum. I also stopped drinking soda, period. None at all, ever. I also starting drinking plenty of water. At this point I added a ton of fruits and veggies.

During this process I added exercise. At first it was only a little bit, then I tried Yoga. I love yoga. It works and it so relaxing. It helps me feel better on a day to day basis. If you haven't tried it, Do!

I have lost 27 since January. I am wearing a size 6 and small to medium tops. My shoe size even went back down to the 6.5 to 7 that I was before I had kids.

I must admit that I am super happy with how I look and super proud of myself for working so hard to get here.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Shopping for the healthy stuff

Today was grocery shopping day. I sat down, I made a list. I went through the menu plan and put everything that was needed. I looked at recipes I wanted to try. I just got a dehydrator to go along with the healthy eating. Perfect solution for good snacks. Except that it doesn't work. I bought all this wonderful fruit and veggies that I had planned on drying to create some seriously good snack food for my family and now I can't because the above mentioned dehydrator does not work. Uuugghhh. Need I say more.
Well I guess we will be eating a ton of fresh fruit and veggies!! LOL

Changes.. for the good

Here I am awake at what feels like O'dark thirty. I went to bed to late to be up this early. I need to get back to the rhythm I had before Oklahoma. I was going to bed and getting up and feeling great. Lately though, I have been going to bed far too late and then hurting during the day because I am so tired. uuuggghhh or if I am lucky Dr. O will be home and will get up with the kids and let me sleep in. So the new goal will be to go to bed tonight, maybe that is why I am up at this time. I will certainly go to bed tonight.

I am trying to get things back to normal but so far I have not been fully successful. It seems I am tired all the time, first it was the stress of the trip, then not sleeping well, now going to bed too late and getting up too early.

I have been trying to take care of some important paperwork for the family. I have paid the bills as best I can. I have obtained the Christmas Knit List, I am finishing up on some projects that are in play. I have gone to the doctor. I guess I am just trying to take care of things that slipped by the way side with Oklahoma.

Another new thing for me. I have been working on losing weight since January and I can say I have lost pounds. I am more health conscious that I have ever been. I am choosier in what I eat, and now crave fruits and veggies rather than cake and cookies. I got a dehydrator so I can make some healthy snacks not just for me but for the kids. Another choice that I made was to exercise more. I have Jillian tape but I am not tackled her yet, she kicks my butt!!

Yoga, though. I did start. I love it. I have never really done yoga and I find it is awesome. It helps with the pain of the Fibromyalgia for sure. It also helps my neck as well. If I do it right before bed, it relaxes me so much I fall right to sleep. It is also helping with my posture I think. 38 years of slumping is enough. I am working on standing up straight.

There are a lot of changes but I want these changes to be in effect and have the girls be part of all this. I want them to grow up in a healthy atmosphere. Learning to eat properly and exercise frequently. There is so much I want for my girls and I can only try to get there one step at a time.

Dr. O is in the middle of an ER rotation, then down to serious studying for Step 2. Which he takes in mid-July. I am nervous I will admit, but I am believing in God that he will see us through as he always has before. Immediately following Step 2 are away rotations, of which I am not looking forward to. However, they must be done for the good of our family. I know this but that does not mean I am happy to be apart from my hubby for an extended period of time.

As I said before though, God will see us through as he always has before. God has a bigger plan for us than we have for ourselves.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Crazy Month...

It has been a crazy month for me and my family. My mother got very sick and was taken to ICU. She was in a coma for 2.5 days. My sister and were on skype when my brother called to say Mom was in the hospital and bad off. Neither of us had the money to go, we had to borrow money. My sister took a greyhound to my house and we hopped in the car along with her grown daughter and my two littles and drove to OK from Cali. Uggghh.. Straight through, pretty much no stopping and got there a day and half later to Mom still in a coma.
She came out of when we got there, but stayed in ICU for 6 days. She was in the hospital for 8. She is still not fully recovered but we have every hope that she will get back to herself fully. She is now in Cali with my sister rather than all the way in OK where we can't monitor the situation.

The trip there was long because we were worried sick and could not seem to get there fast enough. We were so exhausted by the time we got there, I can't even explain and to walk in that room to see my mother that way was very traumatic. The trip back was long too because things kept going wrong. It was one thing after another, people got sick including a little. Both cars acted up, we left the lights on and had to call AAA (thank goodness we had AAA to call) ran into bad weather in TX and in Cali, and high winds in NM. It was a crazy trip but we all got here in and slept and slept, then got in the car and drove another 7 hours to my sisters and then slept some more. I am still recovering.

I am so happy to be home and to get back into my routines and the girls routines. So happy to see my DH after almost a month apart. That was long. I missed him so much and yet I did not even realize how much I missed him until I saw him. The girls really missed their Daddy too.

I am glad that we got to spend the month with my Mom to give my girls a chance to attach themselves to her. They had not known her that well before hand and now they love her. It was a blessing in disguise I guess.

Moral of the story: God always has plan even if we don't have any idea what it is.

and praise God that my Mama is on the mend.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Illness and General Life

This past month has been kind of difficult health-wise for my family. I caught a flu, a bad flu. It made me so very sick. I was bad off for at least 2.5 days, and sick in general for about a week. Immediately after that I got sick again with something else for another week. Then the girls got sick for about a week and they were healing up and I caught THEIR sickness. uggghhh ...

I believe we are all finally on the mend, with contagious illnesses. I am however having a neck/nerve issue. My arm, shoulder and neck are hurting so bad. Hubbs has worked on it, and it is not helping. I have used my TENS unit but that is not helping a lot either. I am ready for this constant pain to go away.. Uuuggghhh .. It seems to be one thing after the other physically for me.

I also wore make-up last week, I don't wear it alot but I do wear it. I wore all the same stuff I usually wear and the next morning my eyes were swollen and my face felt like it was on fire and it was mildly read. I have no idea what I was allergic too since I have worn all of the makeup before. Strangest thing.

I did get some alone time with Dr.O this past week thanks to dear Father in law. It was wonderful to spend time as just Dr. O and C, for us to just be a couple for a minute rather than parents. Please don't get me wrong, I love my babies so very much. I love being their Mommy and I love staying home with them. Sometimes though, it is nice to just be a couple and to just be C rather than Mommy. I feel like as Mommy I am on constant alert but as just C I can fully relax. I don't know if that makes any sense but it is how I feel.

Money is also an issue here. We have tons of things that must be done as well as regular bills to be paid and we just don't have enough money. There is no way we can do it ourselves. I really working on not worrying and giving it to God. He always provides and I am sure he will this time, I just need to step back and trust his timing.

The girls and I have been going to the park or play-area about every other day. I think it is good for them. They like it. Today though at the play area we ran into some kids that were playing rough and not paying attention to the kids that were smaller. V almost got hurt because of them not paying attention. It worried me so we left the play-area just to make sure my girls did not get hurt. I hated leaving early because they love playing so much but I felt it would be in everyone's best interest if I just avoid potential hurt and confrontation with the other parent.

We went and go ice cream after and walked around a bit. They seemed to enjoy that. I did. The ice cream was not so good for my losing weigh goal but it sure was tasty. I will just have to be really good for the rest of the day to hope that lovely ice cream does not add pounds that I have already lost, setting me back.

I am also getting back on my Flylady system, so the house is looking so much better. I love Flylady and what she does for my house, my mood and my kids and hubbs. I love getting up in the morning and coming out to a clean table and a clean LR. It is wonderful.

I have not however been doing any crafting lately, I can only guess that my desire is not there because I have not felt well for a while. Hopefully it will return soon.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Moving Forward, slowly

Life has a way of being very interesting, doesn't it? It gets far too interesting for me sometimes. This past week was one of those times for me. I thank goodness that my inlaws were around to rescue me. I got some kind of chest cold. It started out as a mild cough but turned into something nasty. I was down for 2 plus days. Literally took everything I had to move. My inlaws came over and watched the kids and kept the house from falling down around our ears. I am so thankful.

I am finally well from that nasty little bug. I think I have almost even shaken the cough. It has tried to hang around. Hubbs is in TSS. Some kind of teaching adult medicine rotation. I am not sure exactly what it is. He is however pretty set on becoming a pediatrician. I am happy that he has found what he wants to do. He is likely to sub-specialize which will mean a fellowship but as long as he knows what he wants to do, we will cross whatever bridges we need to, to make it become a reality.

The girls are growing and learning so much. My oldest is almost 3.5 years old. She is quite the chatterbox these days. She is at that age though that she tests every boundary, often. She is also quite bossy especially towards her younger sister. Little Sister though is pretty tough, she can stand her ground with big sister for the most part. She is also really talking. Before long she will be a chatterbox.

L knows all her ABC's and is learning their sounds. She is also learning shapes and tracing. We are getting close to learning to write. I am amazed that I have a child old enough for that. I love teaching her. It is so much fun.

Keep us in your prayers for all that must occur this year. Away Rotations, applications for residency, big tests, testing  materials, all of this is costly.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012


Things are slowly coming together here. I am getting the house under control and feeling more in control myself. We are about to enter 4th year and hubbs is really thinking about where he wants to go and what he wants to do. This year will be interesting to see where he goes and what he does. His top favorite right now is NICU followed closely by regular peds work. He will be very good at it.

Changes have happened for the girls. Our oldest L no longer uses a pacifier. I am so proud of her. She is adjusting pretty good and our youngest V is no longer nursing. I did both of those at the same time. That was a tough week but we are through it. L no longer asks for a paci and V only on occasion will ask to nurse. It was hard on Mommy to do that. It felt like with L she was no longer my baby and with V to stop nursing that she was entering the big girl stage. I loved nursing my babies.

There is great concern for us with money. There are a lot of things that have to be paid for this year and the reality is, there is currently no enough money to do it. We have to pay for the COMLEX PE 2 and the USMLE step 2 and the study materials for both AND for away rotations as well as food and a place to stay during those rotations.

I am hoping my jewelry business will take off and fill those gaps. I am working on the website and hope to launch it this month. It is doing okay for just being launched and I love making the jewelry so I hope that will flourish.

In the end though, I know God will provide as he always does.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Blessed and Excited!

Today was a productive day, well yesterday since it is after midnight. I feel accomplished. I did quite a bit today and feel like I am getting a grip on my life again, it feels like it had gotten out of control. I have been praying about it a lot and it feels like God is giving me the ideas, tools etc to make it happen.

Today though I did:

  • Went to the doc
  • washed some diapers
  • worked on my new website, got some understanding about how it works, and created some cool stuff that I needed on there that it did not provide
  • found out how to let the site accept credit cards without it costing an arm and leg
  • did some photo editing, learning to adjust photo sizes the way I needed to
  • had family night
  • filled my scrips
  • worked on my spreadsheets, got them all updated and new formulas input
It felt like I did more than that. However, I will take it. God has given us so much and yet sometimes it hard. I do feel like today was one of those days where God tells you it does not have to be hard, if only you will step back and let him control it. In our humanness, we try and try to control things and it only goes pear-shaped and gets really hard to do. We try to correct the situations and if you let God handle it. He will fix it in his time and without you stressing. I am certainly not saying it is easy but it what we are supposed to do. 

I feel blessed and excited today. I feel like God has given me the chance to get things back in order. That the time for all the chaos has passed. Thank you Father God. 

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Little Eyes and Little Ears...

There are some things that feel beyond my control, that aren't. I don't know if that makes sense to ya'll, but it does to me. It simply means that sometimes I do stuff that feels like I can't control it but the reality is I can if I will just stop and pay attention. I can control it. I just don't as I should.

There are some things that must change when you have children. There are a LOT of things that change when you have kids and more than must. They are a must to me, maybe not to others but to me, yes a must.

Things like:

  • Cussing, that has to be cut out, cause if it is not you will hear it out of the mouth of your kid and you will know they are saying it because YOU said. I am here to tell you that is an awesome moment in your parenthood. It makes you feel like you should go pick up the factitious parent of the year award.
  • Anger, that crap can cause you act badly and it teaches your children to act badly as well. 
  • Allowing other people to talk ugly to you in front of your kids, that just teaches them they can do it to.
  • You have to think about everything you do and watch and listen to, because little ears and eyes are watching and listening and learning.
  • You have to make sure that others follow that example when you are around or you have to leave if they don't.
  • Be aware of how YOU treat others, because you are again TEACHING your kids. 
  • Every moment of every day is a teaching moment for you to your kids. Use it wisely.
  • Praying every night, talking about God. You are teaching your children a valuable lesson they won't learn if you don't share with them. You are teaching them about God and what faith is. 
The reality is this.. When you have little kids every single thing you do and say, everything you watch and listen too, every person you hang around teaches your kids how to act, how to speak, how to treat others, how to be treated themselves.

Friend.. Enemy.. or a Frienemy (Thanks Mona)

There always seems to be something that keeps me awake .. late... It is rarely the same exact thing, but there are some culprits that seem to be a problem.

  • Facebook, sometimes friend  and sometimes enemy ... to quote a friend.. perhaps a frienemy.
  • Ravelry, so many forum posts that are interesting, so many patterns to look at, so many projects people have made to ooohh and aaahh  at and wonder if I can do that.
  • Jewelry, I get so wrapped up in my ideas for a new something and when I start working at it. Time just gets away from me. Ideas for my shop and of course the fun of acting creating the products. Definitely a frienemy. 
  • Knitting, often a problem and definitely another frienemy. I love it so much. I enjoy the feel of the yarn, watching a project take shape and become something, especially if it is for someone else. 
  • Netflix Streaming, not as often a culprit, but enough of one to deserve a mention in this list. 
  • Spotify, a new culprit. I can get lost in the music to choose here.
  • Pinterest, many of you know what I am saying here. It is so easy to get lost in the land of Pinterest. There are so many wonderful ideas to be pinned, liked and commented on. That is not to mention the ones that suck you in even more and delve further into how to do something. Yep a definite Frienemy.
There probably more but these are some culprits to my late night adventures that always hurt at 730a when my kidlets get up. Yep.. It is going to hurt tomorrow when the oldest says "Mommy, you get up now, I'm hungry." I will drag myself out of the bed bleary eyed and wishing , wishing I had gone to bed earlier. I will get her the cereal and I will sit zombie like while the kiddo's eat. At some point within the hour I will start to function but I will still be wishing.. wishing I had gone to bed earlier.. 

When oh when will this war with myself stop. I think with this post. We shall see.. 

Friday, January 20, 2012

Mittens.. Lovely Little Mittens..

Aren't these adorable.. I am super proud of them. My very first pair of mitten made. I admit I tried another pattern and it came out mittenish... but not a true mitten.. To quote my local yarn store personage.. "the cuff is too short, the mitten is too long, and the thumb is too wide".. These however are beautiful.. They were made for an adorable little boy who lives in very cold weather. I hope he loves them as much as I do.. 

Now ya'll know you wanted to see what I have made recently... =) I just love knitting!! It brings joy to me and so many others.. LOL 

Starting Something new

I am starting something new. I have started my own company. Crickett's Cottage. My sister came up with the name. It is super cute. I make jewelry and wine charms right now. I will add to it as I expand my skills. I am loving making the jewelry and it is so much fun to be helping my family out.

So far we have created an Etsy page and a Facebook page. I am not sure exactly where I will go with it. I am hoping to be able to truly help my family out with this. I have fun with it and people get to wear and use some beautiful jewelry or wine charms.

Dr.O is super supportive. He is such an amazing guy. I am still learning after almost 6 years of marriage that is he such a wonderful guy to be married to. I am so thankful he is my guy. That he is the father of my lovely little girls.

I will post a couple pics here so ya'll can check em out, feel free to check out either the etsy page or the Facebook page.

I don't know what God has planned for us but for now I am enjoying this.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

2012 The year of preparation.

2012 will be a year of preparation. A year of anticipation. A year of waiting, watching, learning, growing but not of true change. This year there will be a lot to prepare for, but not for 2012. This year we will be taking steps to prepare for and anticipate the changes that will occur in 2013. Next year will be our year of change. This year though we are going to have a tough road.

I will be stepping back consciously and letting Dr. O do what he has to do to prepare for COMLEX and away rotations. He must get more studying in than he is right now. COMLEX PE2 will be here before we know, preparation is key. He is already looking into where he wants to do his residency and some places are right next door (well practically) and others are across the country(literally).

As Dr.O's family we have adjust to all this and accept the lack of time we get to spend with him. This however is a life long job. He will always be somewhere doing something that requires him to not be home. We will love on him when he is home and accept when he is not. I am sure I will have days where I am totally accepting of this path and others where I hate it.

The hardcore reality is that there are things in everyone's life they don't like that they have to accept. Each family has something unique that is a challenge for them. This just happens to be ours. It also happens to be a lot of other medical families challenge.

I don't personally like spending tons of time away from my honey. I am perfectly fine with him doing his own thing at home, but I like him to be AT home. I have struggled with this for a long time but I guess it is good that I still struggle with it. It means I still am so in love with him that I miss him when he is not here.

L and V are learning and growing and L totally understands that Daddy has to work. She does really miss him when he is not here and has not quite grasped the concept of why we cannot call Daddy when he is at work and why we can't just go visit him when we pass his building (she calls it Daddy's building). V on the other hand is still a bit young for all that. She and L get super excited when they hear the key in the door that announces Daddy is home but V does not seem to inquire when he is not here.

So this year we will prepare for the coming year of change. I give all I am to God and to his  plan for me. He will provide for us in the same way he always does.

Remember Jer 29:11.. It is my favorite verse. It is my motto. God certainly knows what he is doing.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

New Day.. New Year

One of the coolest things about January 1st every year, is the idea that you have a fresh start. A fresh start on life almost. You can decide to do things differently that year and try to make it happen. It always makes me look back and see what I could do differently and decide for the coming year, my fresh start, what I will do next.

This new year, in it's very first day has been a good one. I spent the day with Dr.O's family. It was a nice day. I enjoyed it. It was fun watching my beautiful children play and learn together. I always enjoy watching their granddad with them. He blesses me every single time I see him with them, He loves them so much he shines with it.

We are in a difficult spot financially again. I don't like that. I do not enjoy having to ask family to help out again. We did so good though this time with our money. Man, I learned how to stretch a dollar in 2011. I wonder how much further I will learn to stretch it in 2012. God provided though, I sold some of the earrings I make. It was a Godsend for us at this time. I really enjoying making the earrings and it would be wonderful if they filled in the gap for us.

I am praying this year to be better this year than last and I have an opportunity to start fresh on this .. New Day.. New Year...