Monday, November 7, 2011

Call Night Again

Dr.O is on call again. Sometimes I don't mind, others I do. I will adjust someday I am sure. I am just as sure that, that moment is not now. I dislike him being gone overnight. I really do. I miss his snoring, I never thought I would say that. I miss poking him in the night to turn over cause his snoring is keeping me awake. I miss him saying I love you in his sleep. So much...

I know that this is part of medicine. It is a long term part of my life and his and our children's lives. I don't have to like it. I only have to accept it and I do. I just don't like it at all. I am tired but I can't sleep, rubbish. I want to be able to just go to bed when I want, rather than sit here not being able to sleep because Dr.O is not home.

The kids sleep, well the oldest does. The little one hardly ever sleeps. I am running on fumes anyway due to her sleeping habits, you would certainly think that I would not be sitting here awake. I would be trying to squeeze in whatever sleep I could get in before the next wake. There are some days I dream of merely 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep, oh what that must feel like. It has been years, literally.

I veered off the subject a bit, but I guess it is all related. Call equals no sleep for this student doctor's wife.