Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Why and God's Impact...

There are times that I wonder why life is so very hard to adjust to. Why is my mood so bad? Why can't I get more than 1 hour of sleep at any one time? Why does my husband have to be a medical student? Why do I have to live so far from everyone I am close to? I end up asking a whole bunch of whys about my life. Why this, Why That.  I ask these questions in the same manner my little nephew did when he was 3, he would ask you why, you answered and then he asked why to your answer, and you told yourself that you would just keep answering, but then by that 10th why, you just wanted to scream BECAUSE I SAID SO. Instead you calmed said, I don't know. Why don't you know, because I don't. In the end, he would give up because you were not longer fun to torment. (note: He is now 21) So I ask the why, followed by another why and so on and so forth.

However, when I do this I have out two very important things:

  1. All why's do is cause you to be filled with negativity.
  2. They keep God at bay.
I don't want to do either so I have been trying to stop them in there tracks. I no longer ask why, merely trying to accept that the why is not for me to know, but merely to accept. I am where God wants me to be. He has a reason, perhaps a lesson, perhaps even part of the path to allow me to end up where he wants me to go. God has a reason for everything he does, for what he allows in his life. I have to believe that. I know that a lot of the lessons I have learned have been extremely painful and ones I would have forgone had I known. Those very lessons though, have left a lasting impact on who I am and what choices I make now.

So God's impact on my life is that I want him to lead and me to follow. I want to let him take my burdens and for myself to be free to enjoy the life he has given me. I want to be so close to him that all my worldly drama's I will begin to lose. I will feel peace. Sincere and true peace that can only come from him..

God's impact is simply this: My life no matter the ups and downs, the softer side, the side that has a sharp point are all in his plan for me.

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