Friday, October 28, 2011

Call.. How I dislike thee..

So my husband was on call on Thursday, which meant he left the house at 640a and did not return until 1030am today. His senior decided that sleeping when there was time was not something that should be done. She had them study instead. So he has been awake since around 430 on Thursday morning. He went to bed I think by 11am, Poor guy. I don't see the point of making the students stay awake all that time when there is a call room for a reason. Ok there is my mini rant.

I don't always sleep well when he is on call, ok more like usually. We have not had a call in a month. I got spoiled. uuugghh. I did better than normal in that I went to bed at 130a however the oldest got up at 630a. Earlier than even usual. I could have convinced her to go back to bed however she woke up our youngest who does not understand and is not one to be convinced to go to back to bed.

uuugghh Will I ever get used to call. I don't resent it like I used to but I am not used to it for sure. Again.. uuuggghh.. I am so tired and want a nap and yet I can't nap until the girls do IF they happen to nap at the same time. V is not so good at that dual napping thing yet.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Why and God's Impact...

There are times that I wonder why life is so very hard to adjust to. Why is my mood so bad? Why can't I get more than 1 hour of sleep at any one time? Why does my husband have to be a medical student? Why do I have to live so far from everyone I am close to? I end up asking a whole bunch of whys about my life. Why this, Why That.  I ask these questions in the same manner my little nephew did when he was 3, he would ask you why, you answered and then he asked why to your answer, and you told yourself that you would just keep answering, but then by that 10th why, you just wanted to scream BECAUSE I SAID SO. Instead you calmed said, I don't know. Why don't you know, because I don't. In the end, he would give up because you were not longer fun to torment. (note: He is now 21) So I ask the why, followed by another why and so on and so forth.

However, when I do this I have out two very important things:

  1. All why's do is cause you to be filled with negativity.
  2. They keep God at bay.
I don't want to do either so I have been trying to stop them in there tracks. I no longer ask why, merely trying to accept that the why is not for me to know, but merely to accept. I am where God wants me to be. He has a reason, perhaps a lesson, perhaps even part of the path to allow me to end up where he wants me to go. God has a reason for everything he does, for what he allows in his life. I have to believe that. I know that a lot of the lessons I have learned have been extremely painful and ones I would have forgone had I known. Those very lessons though, have left a lasting impact on who I am and what choices I make now.

So God's impact on my life is that I want him to lead and me to follow. I want to let him take my burdens and for myself to be free to enjoy the life he has given me. I want to be so close to him that all my worldly drama's I will begin to lose. I will feel peace. Sincere and true peace that can only come from him..

God's impact is simply this: My life no matter the ups and downs, the softer side, the side that has a sharp point are all in his plan for me.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Sometimes.. Just Sometimes...

Lately.. Things have been a little more than interesting.. I don't enjoy things when everything seems to be TOO interesting and by that I mean problematic.

The last few days have not been filled with fun. Lots of little things have gone wrong. Admittedly a couple of big things have gone wrong. I guess I should clarify that wrong means not my way. Perhaps they went the way that God planned them to go.

I am feeling a little irritated by the constant stream of not my way. The simple things include stubbing my toe, slamming my finger in the washing machine (don't ask), pulling the chicken out to cook and realizing it is not good, not getting enough sleep, a teething baby, and older kid arguing over every detail of life.  The big things, a doctor visit that did not give answers, something we were excited about but could not occur due to finances.

I know in the whole big scheme of things that it is okay. There is a greater plan for my life than I plan for myself. However, sometimes.. just sometimes... it gets a bit too much for me.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Worse Day in Recent History

Today, well to put it simply, sucked. It did not suck a little bit, it sucked a whole lot. It was one of those days; that if you could, you would go back to bed.

It started out promising enough, well maybe not. My hubby was still home and L had gotten up and instead of going out and visiting with Dad and letting him get her breakfast. She decided to stay in the bedroom, and be loud and mess with V. So guess who she woke up. I was hoping to squeeze in a few more minutes of sleep before Dr.O left, but it was not in L's agenda. She was whiny and so was her sister and the day continued in that vein.

I got up, fed the kids. We all got dressed and went to bible study. We get there and I take the kids to the kids room and V is not having any part of going in there. L was fine but V, to quote my oldest "No, not either".

So I took her into the bible study room. She was all over the place. Happy in my arms one minute, unhappy the next. She wanted down and up and back down again. Then she started crying. I left to nurse her, so I missed part of the video. I came back she seemed better. I decided I would try to take her back to the kids room, Yea, I don't think so was her response.  So , we went back to the bible study room. She was all over the room. I felt like I chased her the whole time and disrupted everyone else. It was un-fun.

We drove by the park to check out things for the party, and then came home. I fed the kids lunch, but they were whiny and not being good. When V was being whiny, L decided she should be too. They were playing off each other. Finally, oh my stars was I happy, it was naptime. No, this was not to be. The complex maintenance, decided that this was the time, to get out the rake and the leaf blower. So... awake they were.

This continued all day, the whining and carrying on. The not minding, the not talking nice to me. I finally set down the ground rules and one kid ended up in the corner. Which changed the mode.. However I had waited to long and was exhausted and in a bad mood. Finally the youngest fell asleep, unscheduled nap, because hers had been cut very short.

She woke better, and things were better but I was still on edge. At this point it was the little things that were bothering me. I went to hang something up and the hanger broke. "REALLY?" and then I stubbed my toe, slammed my hand into a drawer, well finger. V spilled juice all over the carpet, and then the best moment. I spilled soda ALL OVER the hat I have been knitting for weeks!! WEEKS.

I had to calm down and go put it in water and rinse it well and wring it out gently and then lay it down to dry. So now I can't work on it. I was finally at the point of nearing the finish.

Hubby rescued me. He took the kids and went and go Taco Bell. I sat here alone and watched a funny show. It helped improve my mood. Then there was V walking in a circle on purpose, and then stopping because she was dizzy, so she could do it again. And L coming over and hugging and kissing me and saying I love you Mommy.

The kids went to bed. I did my bible study review Day 1 and watched a funny show. I have been pondering things about why today was so bad. I think maybe they kids were feeding off of my worry about something I did not even realize I was worried about until I  said it to my husband.

So I ask for prayer. I am not prepared at this time to say what it is. Just pray for peace to surround me.


Friday, October 7, 2011

The Current Rotation

So hubby is on an OP Family Rotation. I have to admit I am enjoying it. The hours he has are wonderful. It is almost like he has a normal 9-5 job.  He is still here in the morning when we get up and he gets home before dinner time. Amazing. Is this what is life to have a husband?

I believe he is enjoying this particular rotation not just for the hours though. He likes what he is doing. Though he is still centered on Peds. So...

It is nice to have him home to help with things. It is wonderful for the girls to get so excited to get up because he is still here. My oldest sometimes gets up early to spend time with him. The joy they have in each other, the girls and their Daddy is such a blessing for me to see. I get such an amazing thrill to see how much they each love each other, even little V gets super excited to see Daeey.

I have enjoyed this short break between horrible hours and never seening my honey and of not having to explain to the littles that we can't even call Daddy because he is at work and can't take the call. I have enjoyed having help at night-time and to be able to enjoy time with my honey.

I believe today was the last day of OP Family, next week is IP Family. The week after that new rotation strikes with very likely BAD HOURS. Ahhh we will adjust, we always do with God's help.

Knitting for Christmas

I started knitting about 4 months ago. I fell in love with it. It is clearly my craft. I love yarn, it is so wonderful and comes in such amazing colors and the patterns that can be had for knitting. The amazing things you can make with just a string of yarn, it is just so fun.

This year I decided right after I started knitting that I would make everyone's christmas presents, knitted. I have finished one small gift and one main gift. I am half done with another two. I believe I can get them done. Most of what I am doing is fun yet easy.

I asked each person what they wanted and am making them exactly what they asked for including color. I do hope they enjoy my efforts.

So.. I have made a jester hat, and a cross bookmark and am in the process of...

  1. Stocking Cap
  2. Pair of socks
  3. Beanie
  4. Cable Hat
  5. Cable Scarf
  6. Basic Scarf
  7. Lap Blanket
  8. Fingerless Gloves
  9. 4 more bookmarks
  10. Leaf Top Beanie
I will clearly be busy trying to get these things done by Christmas. I am actually not to worried. The leaf top hat is for L and V.. So they might get it after Christmas. 

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Bread.. Homemade

So, in my newest endeavor to be crunchy, and cost effective I have decided to make our bread.  I got a bread maker off of craigslist for a steal. I paid less than half price for a brand new bread and jam maker. I am impressed I must admit.

So I bought a box ready mix to try the bread maker out, make sure it works etc. Cracked Wheat .. it was good. Then I went and got the basic ingredients and made.. French Countryside Bread... Kind of bland but definitely good.  The bread I really wanted to make was Potato Bread.. I used to make this years, over a decade ago and it was awesome... So last night I made Potato Bread. It was awesome. Soft and moist, 2lb loaf and when you put butter on it.. Oh so good. The perfect bread for sandwiches or to eat just as bread.

I will be making some jam sometime next week and will let you know how that turns out. I did learn there is a thing called Bread Flour which apparently has more gluten in it than regular flour, I compared my bread flour to my regular all purpose flour, they were two different brands yet had the exact ingredients in the same order.. The only difference I found was the Bread flour had 1g more of protein and 1g less of carbohydrates. That was it.. I will try the all purpose in my next batch of potato bread and will sound off on the difference.