Thursday, September 29, 2011

Pre-school and the little one

So I am preschooling my oldest right now. We work for about 45 minutes a day, in increments of 15 min blocks. She is doing so great. I print stuff off the internet for us to go over. We spend time on looking at a BIG letter and little letter.. ( A,a) and some time on a number as well as time on other stuff, like drawing lines, recognizing shapes, knowing colors etc. She is doing so good. She knows all of her ABC's, she sometimes has trouble recognizing the little letters but we are getting there. We are learning to count and she is doing awesome. I am so proud of her.

and our little one.. JUST TURNED ONE. Yep little V is one already, I can't believe it. She is growing and learning so much too. She know what so many things are and she understands when she is not supposed to do something. She also knows just how to annoy her older sister. It must come naturally..

They are both growing and learning so very much and I am so proud to be their Momma. They fill my heart with joy and so much love.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Homemade Laundry Soap

We made the soap. It is awesome. I use it for my laundry and my dishwasher. The dishes come so clean, cleaner than with the tablets I normally buy. I was super impressed. My husband was even more impressed than I was.

Today I think I am gonna make some homemade play dough for my oldest to try. I will share the website I found it on after I try it..

Well off to get the house clean and to make some play dough.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Blogging and Life...

What is a blog , you question. It can be about many things. However, the base of it is this. It is simply about someone. It might their interests, their dreams, it could something they have experienced, things they learned. As I said it can be many things. Where am I going with this, I bet you are wondering. I guess I kind of am too. We will find out together.

So if a blog can be about anything or anyone. I guess mine is about learning. I am learning all kinds of things lately. It is about finding myself. It is about realizing the potential that I have within. My blog has been and continues to be a journey of introspection and acceptance of life. My life.

I know so much more than I did a year ago. A year from now I will know more than I do right now. I have come to find that things I once knew I no longer know. Why, you ask. Simply because they are no longer important to the course of my life. They hold nothing for me. Why would I keep information I no longer need. I am sure that is still there, probably in that locked file cabinet I sometimes lose the key to.

Life is very interesting. It can be very hard. I can also bring great joy and contentment. It has the greatest of experiences to offer. The ride it takes you on is intense. It filled with wonder and pain. It is more than some can take. It is filled with all the best things you can imagine and often with all the worst you can too. However, the ride is meant to for YOU specifically. It is meant for us to learn and grow from each experience it offers us. We are supposed to be stronger at the end of it, than we were at the beginning.

How can something such as life not make you wonder if you are living to the fullest. Does it not make you wonder if you are what you are supposed to be at that precise moment. Is there something about you that could be better, that could be different, that could more. If you answer this with a yes, then life has much to offer to you.

God has given me something I think not everyone has. I wish everyone did. I wish others could know the peace that I find in him. He has given me acceptance to this life. He has given me great joy in my family and the knowledge that where I am right now at this moment is where I am supposed me.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Contentment.. joyfulness.. happiness.. is it possible...

Does anyone know when they find contentment? Does anyone actually find it? Is it possible to be content when your spouse is a medical student who is never home and when he is, he is either sleeping, studying or eating.  I don't know the answer to that. I do know I want to find that elusive thing called contentment.

I want to not only be accepting of my life but to love it. I want to be absolutely content and joyful in it. I want to be totally happy and that happiness to spread to my family and friends. I want people to wonder what I have that makes me so very positive.

I want to wake up in the morning always happy and never woeful and downtrodden. I want to feel happy to be cleaning my house and feeding the family. I want every single day to be a day to find joy in.

I am making a choice to find that. I believe it is possible and certainly God can provide it to me. I don't think many people in this crazy cranky world can find it, if any, without God's peace coming from within.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Self Care: Introspective

Description:  Self care involves doing things that make you happy, whether an instant gratification thing or a long term thing.

I think part of my self care has been lately to realize that some things are more important than what I want. I am part of something bigger than me and that thing is that God is in control of my life. I am beginning to see that when he is in control that something self care comes with just stepping back from trying to control my life and letting him control it for me.

I want to be the best wife and mother I can be. I want my husband to be proud every single day to call me his wife. I want him to look back in 50 years and feel joyful that he chose to marry me. I want my children to grow up to productive happy God loving people. I want them to look back at their Mom and know that I wanted the very best for them and that I always tried to be a good mom. I want them to always know that they are loved and to take that with them wherever life takes them.

I am learning that to do those things, it is self care to step back and let God control me. To let God guide my path so I can achieve those goals. God has given me many talents in which to handle my particular life. One of which is understanding that this is in fact my path. This is where I am supposed to be.

How can accepting where I am and loving where I am and wanting the very best for me and my wonderful family not qualify as self care.

Thank you Holy Father for being my strength and for taking care of me at every single moment in my life.

Monday, September 19, 2011

It's so lovely (warning Sarcasm runs rampant)

Today I realized I had to mention to my husband the need to study. I felt like he was only giving school and us, 50%. He was trying to spread himself out between the family  he loves and the job he desires. He has worked so hard to get where he is. I don't want to him to spread himself so thin that he is not doing what he needs to do to succeed in his job.

I hated saying it. The reason. Because by saying it, I was telling him he had to drop us down from 50% to somewhere around 25% or less and move school/work up by 25%. I was telling him that he needed to focus on THEM more. THEM being rotations. THEM being the HOSPITAL. The BANE of my existence. I had to tell him to focus on THEM more.  Do you have any idea how much that sucks? Well let me just tell you with great sarcasm that is was lovely! It was awesome!!

I want him to succeed. I don't want him to have worked so very hard for this thing and not obtain it because he was torn between us and them. I don't want him to fail to be able to match because he did not spend enough time studying. I know he loves us. My children know they are loved by their Daddy. I know that my husband loves me more than I can imagine. Because of that, I must step back and let THEM have him for a while, granted a LONG while. But, I must.

I am sure I will be here in a few days, or maybe more if I am lucky, ranting about him not being around. However, that is the fact of medical school, residency etc. It is a thing to accept if you are the spouse. I am choosing to accept and to support. I choosing to rally my husband when he needs against my own wants. I am choosing him and his happiness because in the end, he desires this thing called medicine and because he loves me and would choose me over it, I must choose it over me.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

It's interesting.. the things you can get used to

I realized today that I never thought I would get used to medical school and the impact it has on my family. I also realized that I DID get used to it. I am for the most part used to the fact that my husband is never home. I am for the most part used to the fact that it is just me and the kids most of the time. I won't say there are not times when I desperately wish he were home or that I lived close enough to my sister to go there on a day when I need help. However, on the whole I think I am used to way our life is.

I never thought I would adjust to how much I miss my honey when he is gone. The reality is that when it happens so often, you do adjust. You get used to him being gone often. You learn to not miss them as much. You learn to go on with life and adjust when he is around. I never ever thought I would get to this point. I am not going to say it is a great thing to have to get to this point but I will say if your spouse is in medical school, it is a necessary thing.

There are lots of things about this life I never thought I would adjust to, yet I have. Adjusting though is a different thing from liking it. I still don't like that my honey is never around. I don't like having to explain to my almost 3 year old that we can't call Daddy. I don't like that sometimes she goes days without seeing him due to the hospital. I don't like that the hospital pretty much has ownership papers on my husband. However, I can accept that this is my life.

Amazing the things you can get used to.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Homemade .. and Some Knitting

My sister and I are going to make homemade laundry soap tomorrow. I am excited. If I like it .. it could be a great money saver. I love saving money!! I also love not buying stuff I can make these days. It is so much fun I find...

I am looking for recipes to make homemade soap and shampoo. Those items add up and to make it less crap filled and so cheaper would be awesome .. I must admit.

I am also quite enjoying my new craft of knitting. I love that I can buy a skein of yarn and turn it into something else. It is so wonderful watching the items form under my needles. I am making Christmas presents right now. I am excited. I am making stuff I have never made before but I believe in myself. I can do this. I love the different yarns.. most of my stash is acrylic but I am loving cotton and sock yarn. I can't work a lot with wool since I have a mild allergy to it, but I can work with some wool for short periods of time. I

I will let ya'll know how the homemade soaps and cleaners come out. If this works.. It will be awesome. I did also find a homemade conditioner. Less than a quarter of the price.!!!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Kids are strange creatures

My oldest L  is afraid of cats, even itty bitty teeny tiny cats or as most people call them, kittens. We don't have cats ourselves but my sister does. We visit my sister about once a month to every month and half. She was never afraid until the last visit. She was fine by the end of the visit which was approx 2.5 weeks.

We are back to the same ole.. We have been here about 3 days. She is a mess. She wants to be carried everywhere even if said kitten is no where to be seen. It is frustrating to say the least. I don't know exactly how to deal with it. She is almost 3 and yet falls completely apart at the thought of the kitten even being in the same house with her.

Any ideas would be helpful. Forget though trying to get her to come close to it, to pet it, she doesn't want to talk about it. Nothing.