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Saturday, July 30, 2011

Time and Life

I have to say that I am learning to be comfortable with my life, just as it is. I can't say I am a huge fan of medical school, and I can't say that I like being constantly broke. There are a lot of things that I can't say. I am not at all sure I care for the days that  the littles fight constantly. I can't say I like it when I struggle with my moods either.

I can say a lot of other things though. I can say that I absolutely love my husband and my children are like wearing my heart outside my body (got that from you Shawna). I can say that though money is the tightest it has ever been for me, I am very happy right now. I can say that each new word from both girls makes me smile, that watching V toddle around brings joy to my heart, or that hearing L run around and giggle makes me smile in happiness.

Life has a way of happening someone once said. You can enjoy the ride or try to get off. The problem with getting off, is that it is danged dangerous and you might not like where you are. I may not have absolutely chosen to be a med spouse, or to be this broke. I am glad it is my life though. I am learning lessons each day. I am learning to appreciate what I have rather than what I don't. I am learning to like what I have rather than wishing for something I don't have. Each day I am learning to just accept my life.

This is a time in my life where God is carrying me rather than just holding my hand. He is holding me tight and bringing me through the tough spots with my sanity intact. He is teaching me that he can handle it all if I just give it to him. Why do I need worry about something when he can take care of it all and since he always has before why worry now.

My gratitude goes to God for teaching me to accept and give it all to him. Let him worry about everything and for me to just enjoy the life and time he has given me.

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