Monday, May 30, 2011

Been kind of absent lately...

I have not been posting a lot lately. I must admit I have been in a of a funk. Things have been tough here lately. In a lot of ways. I have been trying pretty hard not to let things get to me, but I have not been fully successful. I wish I could say things have been easier for once, but that is just not so.. Tougher than before I think maybe.

I have had moments of even struggling with my faith. I have not had those kinds of problems in a very long time. I feel ashamed of those moments to be frank. I have always had a sturdy belief that everything is for a reason, that everything is part of the plan. I still do. I just lately have had some struggle with how difficult the plan seems to be for our family.

We are again in wait mode. I don't like wait mode. I sometimes feel afraid of what the end of the waiting will bring so I am okay with waiting. I am sure that everything will happen for the best of our family. I just have to stay strong in the face of the current difficulties.

My oldest brother had brain surgery for the 3rd time, it took a long time for it happen due to a bunch of insurance drama. Basically the insurance companies argued amongst themselves about who would pay while my dear brother just suffered. It was so ... frustrating. It was hard not to be very angry. He is doing great thankfully, he is already home and he just had the surgery on Saturday. He seems to be doing so great. There was a great sigh of relief in my family. A communal one you could say.

Keep all of us in your prayers for those that pray. There is still a lot going on. A very tough moment potentially headed our way.
This is me, hanging in there...