Monday, May 30, 2011

Been kind of absent lately...

I have not been posting a lot lately. I must admit I have been in a of a funk. Things have been tough here lately. In a lot of ways. I have been trying pretty hard not to let things get to me, but I have not been fully successful. I wish I could say things have been easier for once, but that is just not so.. Tougher than before I think maybe.

I have had moments of even struggling with my faith. I have not had those kinds of problems in a very long time. I feel ashamed of those moments to be frank. I have always had a sturdy belief that everything is for a reason, that everything is part of the plan. I still do. I just lately have had some struggle with how difficult the plan seems to be for our family.

We are again in wait mode. I don't like wait mode. I sometimes feel afraid of what the end of the waiting will bring so I am okay with waiting. I am sure that everything will happen for the best of our family. I just have to stay strong in the face of the current difficulties.

My oldest brother had brain surgery for the 3rd time, it took a long time for it happen due to a bunch of insurance drama. Basically the insurance companies argued amongst themselves about who would pay while my dear brother just suffered. It was so ... frustrating. It was hard not to be very angry. He is doing great thankfully, he is already home and he just had the surgery on Saturday. He seems to be doing so great. There was a great sigh of relief in my family. A communal one you could say.

Keep all of us in your prayers for those that pray. There is still a lot going on. A very tough moment potentially headed our way.
This is me, hanging in there...

Changing things in our house..

I have found some changes happening within our house. I have been finding that in lieu of the money issues our household have found ourselves in To this end, we have decided to start using cloth diapers, cloth wipes, cloth kleenex, and even the family cloth. If you would have asked me even a year ago if I would have done this I would have said no, without hesitation.
However, I have found that I am becoming more and more crunchy as my sister calls it over time. I am very much liking it too. I have even taken my sewing machine out and starting sewing stuff for us. I do quite enjoy that.

We don't use paper towels anymore, we have been using micro fiber towels but I have found a pattern to make what are called un-paper towels made out of birds-eye cotton which I am going to try. I will keep ya'll updated. 

Friday, May 13, 2011

Change in the wind...

Is change in the wind? I think it is. Dr. O takes the test in two weeks, and we will either go forward with this life or stop and change the direction of our life. Either way it is change of what exists right now and has for several months. Thank goodness.
There is change coming. Am I ready for it? I am not sure. I want to say yes, of course. However, the reality is change is hard. Good, bad or indifferent, all change is hard usually. At least it is for me. I am excited that the existence we have right now is going to move, rather this staying in this place I am not so very fond of. I am however scared of what they may mean, I might want this stage back. Who knows.

All I can really do is pray for the strength for whatever is headed our way. Please pray with me.