Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Children.. they are changing me.

I realize that the kids are growing in leaps and bounds. This sweet period of time will be over in a blink of an eye. I love watching them learn and grow. It is fun. It so wonderful to hear L say a new word and me to tell her how smart she is, and the big grin she shines my way. It is wonderful to look over at V and see her sitting up all on her own, no help. I say the same thing to her, and L says.. V and gives her a kiss.. It the most amazing journey I could ever be on.

I love being a Mommy. I can't explain it to anyone who is not a parent. The feeling you have when your child does something new. It is super fun when they do something and get excited about it. I have a sneaking feeling this feeling will continue. I love the little hugs from my 2 year old, and nursing the 6 month old.

I have to admit that being a parent is changing me. I feel like I am growing as a person. I see the world through different eyes. I see problems with different solutions that I did even a few years ago. It makes me want to be a better person. I want to the kind of person they will look up to. I want to achieve them for them, to be better for them. I want to learn more things so I can teach it to them. It is making me want to be more, for them.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

This life sometimes just .. well sucks

Those that read my blog know that I believe in God with all my heart, with everything that I am. I believe that I am where I am supposed to be. I do. I believe that everything I go through even if I made the decision to get me that God will get me through it and use it for his good.
This medical life is just hard sometimes. Hard. Harder than I even began to understand when I married my husband. I love him dearly and would not undo a step of anything that I have ever done. Sometimes though medical school catches the brunt of my anger. I guess at this moment I don't feel anger, maybe I even feel peace.
I am not sure what I feel other than an intense longing for the man I love. I miss him terribly. I don't Need him to help me take care of things, I mostly can  handle that on my own. I want him.

I guess that is the defination of love. When you don't need that person to fulfill you, but you want them with all you are. When they are not around, missing them is a physical ache.

To My honey, I love and pieces you!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Lucky... and some bananas

I realizing that as tough as life is, I am lucky. I have an amazing husband who loves me. I have the two most adorable daughters ( no offense to those who have daughters) EVER. I adore them. I love being being a mommy.  This life is hard, that is for certain. I don't understand most of the time. I do realize though, that I am ahead of lots of other people in that I am trying to find the positive in my life rather than focusing on the bad.

The bananas are what V is eating right now. Wow, I have a a crawling food eating kid. I can't believe she is 5 months already. She is not a rice cereal fan, so off to Bananas we went.

Life may not be great right now, but it ain't bad either.