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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

General Surgery.. has been so .. UNFUN..

My husband is on his last few days of his general surgery rotation. I so far have hated it. He is almost always at the hospital and when he is home, he is either eating or sleeping. I miss him. I know that what we are experiencing now is just a small taste of what residency will be like. I am so not looking for to that year.

My oldest daughter has taken to asking for Daddy especially during her night time routine. She loves him to read to her. She misses him so, she will ask for him throughout the day. She has even brought me the phone and said Daddy. The kid of capable of calling him, so I am sure at some point in the near future she will just call him. I tell her he is at work, but him being gone for a day and a half I don't think she understands.

It is hard for me to explain to a 2 year when I have a hard time explaining it to myself. It is hard making it okay for my little adorable daughter, when I am having a hard time making it okay for ME. I miss him too! I have even gotten to the point where I enjoy the sound of the man's snoring. I NEVER thought I would say that. But here I am saying just that.

I hate being alone in this house without him at night. I realize just how secure he makes me feel. I feel protected without even realizing it. I know I am safe whenever he is around. I miss him kissing me and telling me he loves me as he walks out the door. I miss hearing his voice.

I know that it is probably making it harder for my girl to understand it when I am having such a tough time with it myself. I am trying to understand it and be as supportive as I can during it, however I am having a hard time. I hate this rotation and how often the hospital gets him and how often I don't.

I am sure with time you get used to this. In some ways I sincerely hope so, but on the other hand if you gets used to it, how does that affect your relationship. How does it affect the little ones who get used to Daddy being gone for days on end. I know they must adjust, as must I. I just worry in the long run how it affects US.

I should be in bed right now, but I realized that my DH will be up in a few minutes and I am not going to go to bed so I can see him before he leaves for 36 hours. If I am lucky I might hear from him before midnight tomorrow night.

Ahhh Call, I hate it!

2 comments:

  1. It breaks my heart to hear that your little girl is having a tough time with your DH being gone so much! I have the same fears that you do and hope that I too can cope with the long hours and all that comes with his residency, when that time comes.

    I hope that you and your sweet girl hang in there the best you can and know that I am sure your DH misses you two as well!

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  2. thanks.. It is not easy this life. However, I believe it is where we are supposed to be.

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