Saturday, December 18, 2010

Things a little tough...

Today I have been a bit down. I tried to fight it back as best I could at the very least for my little girl L. She does not understand when Mommy is in a mood, especially a bad mood. I did not want her to have to deal with it, so I tried as best I could to overcome it for her sake. I did okay.

It is tough financially right now. We had some money come in and it seemed like a lot, but it turned out to be less that I thought. I sincerely thought it would go further than it did. We were not frivolous with it at all. I carefully paid the bills so as to bring everything current. It took everything we were so behind.

We don't have enough for our car payment this month. I called them thinking that if I called and let them know the situation that they would work with us. Ummm.. I was wrong. You don't qualify for a skip payment. Sorry. You will need to make the payment when it is due. Yea, okay. I do what I can.

Honestly, I will make it only if God intervenes. He might but that will be the only way.

My honey has his big test on the 21st. I am praying for God's will. It is difficult to not just pray for passing but I decided I will just pray for God's will, we want to do what The Father wants us to anyway, so the best prayer must be for His will. Please, those of you that read this, pray for His will in our life and in relation to this test.

I don't feel very Christmasy either. I guess it stems from the fact I can't go buy presents. I know Christmas is not about gifts, but I will admit I love buying gifts for my family and friends. I love being able to get them something they wanted but would have never thought to buy it for themselves. I enjoy that so very much. I was able to buy a couple of presents for our daughters before we ran out of cash so I am glad for that. Granted the youngest will have no clue, but the oldest will to some degree.

I am trying to remember that my whole family is celebrating Christmas late so we can do it together. We had intended to celebrate each family to its own on Christmas and then all of us together sometime in January, so I guess that is what hubby and I will do. Christmas will just fall in January. It does not matter when it happens as long as you remember why Christmas exists in the first place. I need to remind myself of that.

I do wish I did not let things get to me. I did some self care today to try to fight it off. It helped a little bit not a whole lot. I made sure to do some of my routines to assist in that as well, also helped some. I was not able to fight it completely off but I did a lot better than I used to so I guess that is also a positive. That I was able to look the mood in the eye and see if for what it was, and try to fight against it.

I admit I snapped at my honey more than once. However, the wonderful man seemed to understand. I am blessed with him for being so loving and understanding when I was being a pill.

Okay, it is past my bedtime and I am going to go climb in and call this day done.


  1. *hug*
    i'm praying
    love you guys <3

  2. Everything will sort itself out. Do you have a family member who could help with the car payment? It's tough to ask but let me tell you, more people in medical school live off loans or combination of loans/one salary and help from family whenever things get really tight. Even now in residency my Mom helps us make ends meet since the cost of living in NY is so high compared to Dr. J's salary.

    Stay strong!

  3. Thanks guys... I know it will sort itself out.. I hope.. .. Yea I worry about that in residency too.. ..