Monday, November 1, 2010

A little less murky but still overwhelmed...

The reality of this life, is that it is hard. Harder than you can imagine in the beginning of the journey. It takes a special kind of person, that few are at the beginning of the trip. I have never thought I was that person, there are many days I hate this life. 

God though, has a plan for all things. Through the hardships is how you become who you are in him. It is how you become strong enough for the life he has planned for you. It is how you know you are going in the right direction. 

I have often told my husband I was not the right woman for him. He has always told me, that if I was different he would not be in love with me. He loves who I am, warts and all. I love him very much and this past week has taught me just how deep my love for him runs.

He has struggled with a very important decision. One that might change the course of our life. One that would not just impact my wonderful husband, but myself, our children, our families and everyone around us. It would change our friendships, our location even. It might. It was tough, but it was a decision he had to make on his own. He made it. He made his decision submitting to God, and in that end we feel he made the right decision. 

I feel so proud at this moment, that God chose me to be here for this journey with him. I am certain I will forget that statement which is why I choose to put it here, so that I might come back and read it. So that others may remind me. This life is not easy, it seems ever, but it is where I am supposed to be.

So things are not so murky anymore, they are overwhelming as usual. There is much to be done in short amount of time, and no money in which to make it through. I am certain though, that if I trust in God, he will clear the fog off the step. He has always done so and I know he will continue to do so. 

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