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Friday, July 9, 2010

Life as a medical spouse

Really life as a medical spouse is about to gear up.. I cannot say I am looking forward to it. It has not been an easy 4 years. It is most likely going to be an even harder next two. After that then we have residency. I know that is just going to be horrible for me.
I used to be one of those women who if I didn't see the guy I was dating for days or even weeks, that was fine. Now I find myself missing my honey so much if I don't see him or talk to him. I know it is because I love him and I did not love any of the other guys, but it sure would make things a whole lot easier if I could go days on end without needing to see him.
He has to start really gearing up on the studying, he has another test and boards coming. He will be starting at a hospital near us in the next few weeks as well. We have a close friend that is rotating at the same place and they are kicking his butt. I am so not looking forward to that.
I often wonder what God was thinking when he put me with my hubby. I don't know that I was cut out for the medical spouse lifestyle. I think I am getting better at it, but I don't like it even a little bit. I often wish I had a hubby with a  9-5 job. I know that will never be. Maybe someday when he is actually an attending doctor but that is so many years from now, it seems unreal to me.
I am worried what life is going to be like with two smalls and only me around. I worry that it will be to hard. I worry that I won't do well because it will just be me. I never wanted to be a single mom, but I am essentially just that. It is part and parcel of being a medical spouse. I know my children's father will miss out on so much, and they will miss out on him. It is sad to me. I know though that he wants this so much and because of that , I support it wholeheartedly. I have learned you don't have to like something to support it.
Interesting huh!!

3 comments:

  1. **Warning- too many days by myself + bad mood= I probably don't have anything encouraging to say right now.... BUT, I hear you sister! It is hard. I totally feel like a single mom a lot of the time. K said the other day that she likes it when dad visits us. It is a tough road. You will be challenged. You will be a great Mommy through it all. God's plans don't always feel good when you are walking them, but at least He is moving, is leading, is guiding, is equipping all the while.

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  2. 1. Self Care
    2. Listen to myself
    3. Attempt to correct my behavior when I see it.

    From your earlier blog.

    "After that then we have residency. I know that is just going to be horrible for me."

    Sing a new song.. dance a new dance. Beat a new drum. Spin.

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